 SBWC 2016: June 5-10, Hyatt Santa Barbara
Dear Writers,
Enter to win a scholarship to the 44th Annual Santa Barbara Writers Conference. There are three categories to this contest. You may enter one, two or all three. You are welcome to enter multiple times, but please only one entry per email. Categories: 1) Best opening sentence: Limit 50 words 2) Prose: This can be a short essay, a short story, or the opening to your novel or nonfiction project. Limit 500 words 3) Poem: Limit 44 lines The judges will look for excellence appropriate to each category. To enter:
Contact information should include:
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Our 44th Year! "A most stimulating time—a glorious week!" — Eudora Welty "The best in the nation." — James A. Michener "An important and wonderful week." — Elmore Leonard "SBWC offers aspiring talents opportunities to have their work seen by professionals who can help them reach publication." — Los Angeles Times   |
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If you haven't booked your hotel room yet, check out the amazing and cheap accommodation options on Air Bnb Santa Barbara. You can rent a single room with private bath close to downtown for only $65 a night. Now that's a steal. Don't let pricey accommodations deter you from joining us at SBWC this June.
See you in a few weeks. Write On! Grace Rachow and Erin Munsch |
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SBWC: 10-Minute Pitch Sessions with Agents
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SBWC 2016: June 5-10, Hyatt Santa Barbara
Dear Writers,
Agents get hundreds of written proposals and query letters on a daily basis. Most go straight to the bottom of the pile. A face-to-face conversation with an agent might help your project get better attention. You're in luck. Even though the Advanced Submission deadline has passed, it's not too late to meet with an agent or editor. Sign up for our new 10-minute pitch sessions here. No manuscript needed. This is speed dating for writers. Plan ahead what you want to say so that you put forth an image that reflects the quality of your project.How it works:
Pitch Session Fees: The cost for each 10-minute pitch session is $25 dollars. There is no manuscript involved, but you may bring a 1-page query letter or synopsis that you could leave with the agent upon the agent’s request. We have ten participating agents/editors who represent a variety of genres including fiction, nonfiction and memoir. Find out more about our confirmed agents/editors by clicking on their names below: Corinna Barsan —Senior Editor, Grove Atlantic Paul Fedorko— N.S. Bienstock, Inc. Lucas Hunt — Orchard Literary Jennifer March Soloway —Andrea Brown Literary Agency Toni Lopopolo — Toni Lopopolo Literary Management Jill Marr — Sandra Djikstra Agency Angela Rinaldi — The Angela Rinaldi Literary Agency Erin L. Cox—Rob Weisbach Creative Management Annie Hwang —Folio Literary Management Eric Myers —Dystel and Goderich Literary Management If you haven't already registered, sign up at sbwriters.com We hope you’ll join us for another amazing and inspirational year. |
Our 44th Year!"A most stimulating time—a glorious week!" — Eudora Welty "The best in the nation." — James A. Michener "An important and wonderful week." — Elmore Leonard "SBWC offers aspiring talents opportunities to have their work seen by professionals who can help them reach publication." — Los Angeles Times |
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10-minute pitch sessions will be available up until Agents Day, June 7 or when all slots are filled.
Write On!
Grace Rachow and Erin Munsch
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THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1987
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
In 1987 the country was transfixed by the Iran-Contra hearings playing out on television sets across the country, providing more reason to escape to the SBWC. If Nicholas Meyer‘s words from the previous year rang true and “all good fiction” is escapist, what better place to do so than the blue skies and blue roofs of the Santa Barbara Miramar Hotel for the 15th Annual Santa Barbara Writers’ Conference.
New and returning speakers included William F. Buckley, Jr., Nearer My God: An Autobiography of Faith, Overdrive: A personal Documentary, and See You Later Alligator, Jackie Collins, Hollywood Husbands, Hollywood Wives, etc., Dominic Dunne, Fatal Charms and other Tales, and The Two Mrs. Grenvilles, Elizabeth Gilchrist, Your Cheating Heart and Second Chances, A. Scott Berg, Max Perkins: Editor of Genius, Gerry Spence, Gunning for Justice: My Life and Times, Trial by Fire: The True Story of a Woman's Ordeal at the Hands of the Law, Dr. J. Pursch, Dear Doc, rescheduled from the prior year, Stirling Silliphant Pearl, Steel Tiger, Maracaibo, and Silver Star, and Valerie Kelley, the first SBWC speaker on erotic fiction.
Ray Bradbury opened the conference for the 15th year in a row, and seeded the attendees with visions of metaphors and lists of verbs and nouns on Friday night. Saturday afternoon acclaimed screenwriter Stirling Silliphant, The Towering Inferno, Poseidon Adventure, In the Heat of the Night, Charly, etc., also author of several novels, was introduced by movie director Ralph Nelson, Charly, Lilies of the Field, Requiem For A Heavyweight, etc.
Paul Lazarus introduced Ralph Nelson because of their past association, among a group of Hollywood friends who included many of the profession’s greats. Nelson told the story of making the film Charly, when he met daily with Cliff Robertson and Silliphant to carefully craft the movie’s screenplay. Nelson said Silliphant had an uncanny ability to “see” how the script came together—saying, “that scene will require four eights of a page; that scene will take two full pages.”
Because Cliff Robertson was in high demand at the time he formed a partnership with director Nelson to craft and complete the picture. Silliphant would then take the fruits of their efforts and perform the seemingly impossible, especially as the character Charly progressed and regressed through the arc of his intelligence. From his efforts, actor Robertson and director Nelson followed Silliphant’s direction resulting in the classic film Charly.
Silliphant said, “If you don’t stay with the film it will end up not being the movie you wrote.” He added, “I’ve been very fortunate to be with director’s who worked with me, especially with all the juggling they have to do to make a film.
“When you write a script you must, with your choice of words, inspire the people who will read it.”
“I find reviewers to be very funny and interesting people,” she said. “People Magazine ran a positively insulting review of my last book, and that sort of upset me, because the
Sunday night Clifton Fadiman was honored for his lifetime devotion to writers and literature. His credentials include book editor for The New Yorker, critic, essayist, Book-of-the-Month Club judge and author of a dozen books.
Charles Champlin introduced Fadiman displaying a passion not only for Champlin’s reverence of The New Yorker, but also his personal affection for the Santa Barbara resident.
“He influenced the fate of many writers and the tastes of the reading public,” according to Champlin.
Workshop leader Ted Berkman introduced A. Scott Berg, Max Perkins: Editor of Genius the following day. His topic, “Writing A Biography,” built off of his epic biography of Perkins.
Berg started off his remarks telling about a grade school experience where he was required to write a report on an Author. His mother led to his discovery of F. Scott Fitzgerald, for whom he had been named, and by the time he graduated high school he was certified as a legitimate “Fitzgerald nut,” which is why he convinced the Princeton admissions office that he would come anyway if they refused to admit him, and thus he matriculated to Fitzgerald’s alma mater.
At Princeton he found mounds of original documents of Fitzgerald’s tenure at Princeton, including early drafts of the Great Gatsby, and a manuscript of This Side of Paradise annotated by Max Perkins, then working at Scribner’s publishing house. Perkins suggested several corrections, which Fitzgerald accepted. Perkins continued to champion the book with the Scribner’s board including old Mr. Scribner, who eventually agreed to publication.
“Before Max Perkins, an editor was a particular kind of guy,” said Berg, and described a limited relationship between a writer and an editor. “Max Perkins redefined that relationship.”
The relationship between Fitzgerald and Perkins is documented with letters back and forth over a period of twenty years. Editor to Author is a selection of some of those letters published in one book.
To hear Berg speak about the relationship brought up images of a beloved mentorship, with Perkins the mentor and Fitzgerald the privileged mentee. It also evoked memories of a time past, when the economics of the industry and the country allowed for such special relationships, or maybe it was just a time when editors had more courage?
Gayle Lynds will Thrill Us @ SBWC 2016, June 6
Gayle Lynds
Gayle Lynds will be on stage at the Santa Barbara Hyatt on Monday, June 6, 7:30 PM. She has the generous spirit one would expect of her Midwestern roots, but the page-turning espionage thrillers she writes reflect a wide canvas of world politics and culture.
Her latest award winning thriller, The Assassins, is no exception.
Gayle is an alum of SBWC. It's rumored she met her late husband, author Dennis Lynds, at this conference many years ago. SBWC audiences have heard her speak several times over the years. Her talks are full of great stories and practical information for writers of all genres.
Have you ever wanted to be a spy? Test your SpyQ on Gayle Lynds' website. http://gaylelynds.com
The morning after her talk she will lead a morning workshop titled "The Villain Drives the Plot: Elements of Character."
The June 7 morning workshop is open to registered students at SBWC (http://www.sbwriters.com/conference/ to register)
The evening talk is open to the public. Tickets $10.
Ross Macdonald Literary Award Opening Night June 5 @ SBWC 2016
sbwriters.com
Ross Macdonald
On opening night, June 5, 2016, Santa Barbara Writers Conference will host the presentation of the Ross Macdonald Literary Award. In past years the award has been given to Ray Bradbury, Dean Koontz, Sue Grafton, Mark Salzman, Robert Crais, T.C. Boyle, and James Ellroy.
This year, the recognition will be awarded to the prolific writer Dennis Lynds who passed away in August of 2005. His widow, award winning author of political thrillers, Gayle Lynds, will receive the award on his behalf and will speak on Dennis' writing.
He is best known under the pseudonym Michael Collins, writing the Dan Fortune novels, all of which are available in both print and ebook. He wrote in multiple genres under various names over four decades, and he is known for a literary style that transcends the genres he wrote in.
Ross Macdonald, Dennis Lynds and Gayle Lynds all have had a connection to the Santa Barbara Writers Conference, and we are pleased to celebrate this history while honoring Dennis' fine literary style.
The award ceremony precedes our opening night speaker Rufi Thorpe. This event is open to the public. Tickets $10.
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1986
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
Thursday night was Jonathan Winters night, a Santa Barbara resident frequently seen around town, table hopping when out to dinner or entertaining other shoppers in the local grocery stores. Before moving to Santa Barbara in the ‘70s and his first appearance at the SBWC, Jonathan had a lengthy career as a comedian and comic actor in many films, including the 1963 “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World,” and a brilliant recurring role on the “Mork & Mindy” show. By the time he moved to Santa Barbara, he was also a successful writer and painter.
As the closing night speaker, Jonathan was introduced by Barnaby Conrad who said they’d created a special Jonathan Winters Humanitarian Award for his long friendship and volunteer work in the community. Jonathan said he preferred something else, preferably in an envelope!
Jonathan began his remarks noting “the remarkable, young and healthy audience ready to face rejection.”
“I have made some notes. People think I don’t,” he added, “but I am under heavy sedation. I know I don’t look it.” He had the audience laughing at the end of almost every sentence.
What followed was a series of comedic sketches as he introduced his audience to some of the readers from around the country who would be reading the output of their labors. It is impossible to do justice to Jonathan’s renditions, but Maude Fricker is familiar to audiences around the world.
“I’m 96 years old!” she said, “and much of this body has been used by my husbands, all of them, and I have 300 children. So you see I have lived!”
He talked about his latest book, and the rejection he faced until he finally was able to get it published. Taking it up, Short Stories and Observations for the Unusual, he read, “This is a little thing called my hobby. ‘I collect rainbows…I collect winks from beautiful women…” and the audience hushed.
To listen to Jonathan Winters read from his writing is an eerie and emotional experience. He reads and writes from the fragile place in his heart, his observations of things going out of existence, or what used to be is as moving emotionally as his comedy is belly slapping.
“I am serious about my writing,” he said, “as I am sure you are about yours — or you wouldn’t be here.”
Jonathan talked about how he was always talking about writing and painting, until he finally heeded the advice that you better put it down before time runs out.
“Most of us are out of school,” he said. “So you better know that time is of the essence, and put it down.”
For those in attendance, Jonathan showed a side that most people never saw. It was impossible not to realize that within this man was a darkness and pain for the vagaries of life, and the memories of a childhood that fueled his comedic genius. It was unarguably a most special occasion, and virtually everyone in the audience was moved and grateful to be in the auditorium on the night of June 26, 1986.
Rufi Thorpe...Opening Night @ SBWC 2016
Titles like To Fang With Love and The Girls from Corona del Mar have intrigued me ever since I heard that author Rufi Thorpe had agreed to open the Santa Barbara Writers Conference on the evening of June 5 at the Santa Barbara Hyatt in the El Cabrillo room.
Her first novel, The Girls from Corona del Mar, was long-listed for the 2014 International Dylan Thomas Prize and for the 2014 Flaherty-Dunnan First Novel Prize. Her second novel, Dear Fang, With Love is forthcoming from Knopf May 2016. She lives in California with her husband and sons.
And yet, she will find time to travel to Santa Barbara and share her wit and wisdom with the SBWC audience of eager writers on June 5, 2016 at 7:30 PM. This event is open to the public. Tickets $10.
Check out Rufi Thorpe's essays and blogs at
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THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1985
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
Ray Bradbury kicked off the conference with one of his more memorable lectures, at one point recalling how in a visit to his hometown of Waukegan five years past he went in to a barber shop and was accosted by the 70 year-old barber there.
“By god I’ve been waiting 40 years for you to come through that door,” the barber said. “When I was 18 years old I was a boarder in your mother’s house!”
Ray said he didn’t remember the man — “I was only three or four years old at the time after all.”
The barber said one of his favorite memories of that time was of a three-year old Ray and his brother, excited about helping their grandfather, running into the house to talk about the bags of dandelions they’d collected for the wine press their grandfather kept in the basement.
Twenty-some years later the budding writer Ray Bradbury wrote a novel entitled Dandelion Wine, wondering at the time where the idea for the story came from until he was a famous and accomplished writer in his forties visiting his home town and meeting the 70 year-old barber who reminded him of a summer afternoon when he collected gunny sacks filled with dandelions.
Ray's speeches had a similarity and an ongoing theme that he repeated every year with the same infectious, inspiring, passion. In the process of transcribing cassettes to MP3 files, we uncovered this little gem of a segment from 2002 that was classic Ray Bradbury wisdom.
[audio mp3="http://www.sbwriters.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Ray-Bradbury-2002.mp3"][/audio]
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1984
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
Arguably the highlight of the conference for most attendees was Alex Haley’s return to speak on closing night. As aspiring writers, the SBWC students learned that Roots was now published in 40 languages, most recently Russian in 1984.
Mr. Haley started his talk, paying homage in his soft Memphis accent, to Niels Mortensen and Barnaby Conrad with whom he’d struck up a friendship in Barnaby’s El Matador Bar in San Francisco, despite Haley’s aversion to alcohol. He confessed that although Barnaby was probably unaware of the fact, Haley had once touched Barnaby’s coat as he walked by, just to make physical contact with a real life published writer, then one day Alex came into the bar with the idea for Roots and asked Barnaby and Niels how to get an agent.
“Well, Barnaby’s got one of the best,” said Niels. “Louis Blau.”
“I can give him a call if you’d like,” Barnaby said.
Some time later Barnaby told Alex he had set up a ten-minute interview with Louis Blau.
“I can give you ten minutes,” the attorney told a nervous Alex Haley. Two hours later Mr. Blau rose and shook Haley’s hand, saying, “If you can write that story as well as you tell it you are going to have a very successful book.”
Haley told the audience that there must be some unspoken way the world knows when something momentous has happened in your life.
“Two weeks after Roots was published my agent’s office called to ask how I was,” said Haley. “And I asked them what they meant and they said, ‘well we're just calling to see how you’re feeling.’ And no one ever cared about how I felt before Roots.”
“And I know there’s no memo that goes out to airline flight attendants, but they start asking if they can get you anything. They let you through lines quicker.”
With the burgeoning success of Roots, a lot was to change for Mr. Haley. Fresh from a visit to China, he kept the SBWC audience rapt with a rambling recitation of his life since Roots. He was in China as a guest of the government which was interested in doing a similar film production on Chinese history, for which Haley had enlisted the help of Norman Lear, but when asked what the biggest event in his career of writing was, Alex answered without hesitation. “People ask if it was winning a National Book Award, or the Pulitzer Prize, but it was something else.
“It was one of those early rejection slips,” he said. “The kind that all of you are familiar with. Everyone thinks you’re crazy, writing for years on the same idea. At that time, in the fourth year of working on Roots, I’d had at least 50-70 rejection slips.
“I went out to the post office to get the mail and I anticipated, and I was right, because when I got to the post office there was a manila envelope that I had addressed to myself. It had one of those pre-printed rejection slips, but on this rejection slip, someone had written a note in long hand with pencil that said ‘nice try,’ and, something exploded in my head, because someone had taken the time to read however many pages I had sent, and then had taken the time to write that note.”
“To this day I remember that as the biggest thrill in my writing career,” Alex said.
Everyone in the room knew exactly what he was talking about.
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1983
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
As the SBWC entered its second decade Mary and Barnaby Conrad added Robert Bloch (Pscho), Larry Gelbart (MASH, Tootsie, etc.), Joshua Logan (South Pacific, etc.), and Martin Cruz Smith (Gorky Park) to the lineup of featured speakers. Most notably, conference favorite Charles “Sparky” Schulz was once again in attendance as he would not be attending Wimbledon two years in a row.
Sparky’s confederate Ray Bradbury was ready for a repeat performance, and said “this year I will wander around for the duration of the whirlwind week, try to read whatever the writers hand me, and continue to encourage them to take ideas and set them in motion.”
“Be passionate, be alive!” When Ray Bradbury opened the conference every year the emotional quotient of the audience began to soar.
Ray was the embodiment of what everyone in the room strived to be. He believed that each and everyone in the room can succeed. More than Barnaby Conrad or any other person present, Ray was the biggest cheerleader and besides his undeniable writing skill, it was his special gift.
Writers came to the SBWC for many reasons, and sometimes, they didn’t even know why they came. As Ray has said, “You come because you must!”
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1982
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
1982 was the year that Ray Bradbury opened the conference saying, “For God’s sake, be in love with something madly! Don’t talk to friends—they won’t understand. Trust your intuition. Let yourself go!”
Bradbury was big on intuition that year. “Put all your loves together and try to make sense of it.”
“Make lists of your memories—turn trivia into metaphor; build on your past—create the instant now,” he said. “Care so much it makes you want to live forever.” His advice was given with passion, and those unfamiliar with him could be forgiven if they came away befuddled, confused, or convinced he was drunk or worse.
On writing, he modified something he recalled from Hemingway: “Never go to bed with someone sicker than you.” Bradbury's version was, “Never go to bed with anyone you’re afraid of, but if you do, write about it later!”
Ted Berkman, himself an accomplished writer and SBWC workshop leader, captured the flavor of all the workshops in his 1982 piece on the conference.
“A typical workshop finds some 35 women and men crowded around novelist Phyllis Gerbauer, a slim, calm literary rendition of Carol Burnett. The novices sit on camp chairs, kitchen bar stools, and the floor of a summery hotel suite, listening raptly to a student reading (strict limit: six pages at a time). At the end, hands shoot up, comments fly. ‘Terrific suspense.’ ‘Needs more personal emotion.’ The instructor is last to speak. She suggest more specific details — ‘the type of perfume your protagonist uses tells us something about her character’—and greater attention to the sensory elements generally. ‘But those are only suggestions; the decision is yours.’”
Local resident, Laugh-In, and Candid Camera writer Fanny Flagg was an early SBWC workshop attendee and in 1979 won the Fiction Award for a thousand-word story that was adapted into a television movie. Subsequently, she expanded the story to the novel Coming Attractions, which was published in 1982.
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1981
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
In 1981 new Santa Barbara resident and international funny man Jonathan Winters joined the speakers at the SBWC. While well-known for his antics as a comedian, Jonathan was also an accomplished artist and writer. His autobiography, I Couldn’t Wait for Success, So I went on Without It deals with his life in Ohio, the Marines, and show business. Jonathan said he thought it was something that boys like him from Ohio could make good. He addressed the audience attired in military camouflage, wearing a jaunty beret.
“I suppose you are wondering why I am dressed like this,” he said. “We are living in violent times. Many of us are begging to get paranoid. I’ve always been paranoid. I was in the Marines.”
His love for his home and Ohio was very real. At age seven he shook hands with Orville Wright, and forty years later he shook hands with Neil Armstrong—both born in Ohio. “To me,” Jonathan said, “that’s America—the fact that a man from a little tiny town in the Middle West was the first man to step on the moon. I think its much chic-er than for someone from New York, Chicago, St. Louis or San Francisco to do it.”
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1980
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
San Francisco Chronicle Columnist, and close friend of the Conrads, Herb Caen visited the conference as their guest. He wrote in his daily S.F. column under the title—Lush Life, Santa Barbara:
"A good writers conference is no better than the sum of its parties, and here the parties are the best. Leinie Schilling (you know, the spices) threw a huge one that spread across the football-sized lawn outside her George Washington Smith mansion. Architect Smith was to Santa Barbara what Willis Polk was to Old San Francisco. Mel Ferrer was there, being confused as always with Jose Ferrer, which is why he was reputed to be permanently sad-eyed. Artie Shaw, wearing a tennis cap to protect his bald pate, kept his conversation in non-stop flight.
‘Is he deaf?’ I whispered to Robert Mitchum.
‘No,‘ he replied. ‘He’s just not too interested in what you have to say.’ Shaw on his one-time rival Bennie Goodman: ‘I liked him till he started to believe all that “King of Swing” crap.’”
1980 was the year William Styron told the conference how he came to write Sophie’s Choice which held the number one spot on the best seller list for 47 weeks.
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1979
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary:
The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
The 7th Annual SBWC was also the year John Dodds and his wife Vivian Vance spoke. As an agent and publisher with Simon & Schuster, Mr. Dodds’ afternoon session was a hot ticket for conference attendees, but it was Ms. Vance (Ethel from the “I Love Lucy Show”) with her sharp tongue and razor wit who proved to be a SBWC favorite.
"I got the whole Lucy show through my friend, Mark Daniels, who was going to direct a television show, "I Love Lucy," Viv explained. She also almost didn't get the part because her eyes were too big. "I can't give you the role because my agent told me your eyes are bigger than mine," Lucy told her after auditions. "If you don't want me, that is fine," Viv replied. "But you're firing the wrong person. You should fire your agent. If someone of your caliber has to worry about my eyes being larger…"
Well, who got fired, you might say is history. And where would the history of television comedy be if Viv hadn't gotten the role of Ethel?
March Newsletter for SBWC 2016
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THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1978
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
After Ray Bradbury’s inspirational welcome the first night of the conference in 1978, Charles “Sparky” Schulz opened the second night with a piece of chalk in hand. As he took the stage and approached a blackboard the audience hushed.
With deft strokes he created a figure familiar to fans around the world, and when he turned back to the audience, Snoopy at a typewriter was visible over his shoulders.
He smiled and said, “I just wanted to prove I’m no fake.”
That rendering of Snoopy at typewriter has been the logo of the SBWC since 1976, and always brings smiles to the thousands of SBWC attendees who participated in workshops or just came to hear one of the featured speakers over the past forty plus years.
Charles "Sparky" Schulz became a fixture of the conference until his death in February of 2000, and for many, especially SBWC attendees, Sparky was as beloved as his dog, and his depiction of Snoopy at his typewriter will always keep the artist alive in their hearts.
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1977
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
In 1977 Star Wars hit theaters for the first time and became the second highest-grossing film of all time while Saturday Night Fever sparked a disco inferno and the popularity of movie soundtrack. Elvis Presley died at Graceland, his Memphis, Tennessee home at age 42.
The correspondence between Barnaby and his writing pals is the stuff of legends. The following exchange between Jessica (Decca) Mitford and Barny discussing compensation is a classic that really captures the wit, talent, and essence of Barnaby Conrad.
From Barnaby:
“Robert Frost said blank verse is like playing tennis with the net down;
So I hope this won’t be too much of a let-down
But hereafter I am going to drop the pose
And go back to good old prose.
I’m done—you’ve clearly won
I wish you would
Not write so good.
As a poetaster
I’m sheer disaster.
But, unpoetically, we offer to you
300 Bucks plus a room with a view.
(And not such a bad one, Hon,
The view’s of Georgie Plimpton!)
As an added inducement to join our club,
One hundred clams to spend on grub,
This time the meals are reproachless
And, hopefully, the bedroom is roachless.
And now here’s a threat, dear Decca
If you don’t set aside
Your fiscal pride
We’ll dredge up Faithey Baldwish—to hear HER side!!!”
Said Decca (Jessica) Mitford in reply, on a postcard of Dartmoor Prison in England:
“Ok, Ok
I might like to play,
But what is the pay?
Here’s where you’ll be
If I don’t get my fee.
(See over: A
Therapeutic Correctional
Community, English style,)
Much love, etc. to Mary,
Decca,
Your money grubbing old friend.”
To which Barnaby responded:
“Dear Money Grubbing Olde Friend:
You are the living end!
So, hooray, hooray, hooray!
But—about this here pay:
With another Oaklander I must agree
That a fee’s a fee’s a fee.
But you must be wary
Of institutions eliomosonary
(of which this is not only one
but quite possibly the champion!)
Our honorarium has very little honor in it,
But your son can always tune a spinet.
Agree, it is ludicrous payola—
Still, it suits Clifton, Ray and Gayola.
Michener was really nifty—
He paid his travel and charged us only fifty
And I’ll swear by any Gideon
You’re getting as much as Joanie Didion
Ross and Buddd, Eudora and Haley
Waived their fees and did it gailey.
Only Charlie Schulz was a little poopy
His fee?—a case of Alpo for his Snoopy.
We wish ya would
be like Isherwood
Why not say to yourself, Decc—
What the heck
to hell with the pay”
I’ll join the fray
And save the day.
Cause if you don’t accept our generous offer of
Pelf, lodging and grog beside,
We’ll offer the place so rightfully yours to the editor of
Gasket and Sunnyside!
Please Dear Decca, think on it and think again
Just remember: three hundred American dollars is five
thousand 200 and ninety-six yen!!
Signed
Edgar Guest Conrad”
So, what could Decca say?:
“But I’m not welty, like Eudora,
I wish you’d be a little more, a-
Menable—in fact, I wish you would
Pay me what you save on Isherwood.
For what you save on Sidney Stebel
I really think you should be able
To enlarge your paltry fees
For me and Kurt and Gay Telese [sic].
And what about old Bradbury (Ray)?
I bet he gets astronomic pay.
But anyhow, I’ll comy your way
If not for a week, at least for a day
Love to all, Decca
p.s. I see you offer free sea air
And (unless it’s improved) plain prison fare.
A dip in the surf and a walk on the turf
Plus spectral visits from Bennett Cerf.”
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE — 1976
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
1976 was the year Maya Angelou addressed the conference, her deep voice rebounding across the walls of the Miramar Room in the conference center. Her themes resonated with students of all ages, hoping to understand how she drew from her own passion and experiences to glean just a bit of the craft to translate in their own work.
The SBWC had become a Santa Barbara institution. Interviews with featured speakers appeared in the Santa Barbara News-Press and weekly journals in the surrounding Montecito community.
Another conference event that became increasingly popular was the annual party that Mary Conrad hosted for SBWC teaching staff and featured speakers, which included Jose Ferrer, Charles and Jean Schulz, the husband and wife team of John Dodds and Vivian Vance, Don Congdon, Joan Didion and husband John Gardner Dunne to name a few. 
THE HISTORY OF THE SANTA BARBARA WRITERS CONFERENCE -- 1975
An excerpt from the upcoming book by Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2003
In 1975 the SBWC established itself at the Miramar Hotel in Montecito, just South of Santa Barbara, kicking off a twenty five year Santa Barbara literary tradition. This was the first year our beloved Charles (Sparky) Schulz came to the conference and not only decided to stay the entire week, but became a mainstay of the conference, coming and staying for the entire week all the way through to the end of his life in 2000.
Picture a sea of blue roofed cottages glimpsed from the 101 Freeway against the backdrop of the Pacific Ocean.
Sid Stebel, fresh from his successful Australian based Picnic at Hanging Rock premiere, became legendary for his honest, open and laser like critiques of every student in his class, eventually earning the moniker "Samurai Sid", and referring to his students as "Sid's Snowflakes", acknowledging the fact that each was unique in his or her own way.
