Santa Barbara Writers Conference Bookstore June 9-14

SBWC will have a consignment book sales store for authors to sell their books during the conference, June 9 through June 14. Any author who lives in the greater Santa Barbara area as well, as conference attendees, are welcome to bring books for consignment sale.

Books can be signed in as early as Saturday, June 8, 4-6 PM and can be brought in throughout the conference. How many books is up to you, but most authors bring between 5 and 20 copies. It is okay to leave a smaller number and replenish during the week.

When you deliver your books to the SBWC Book Store, there will be a consignment receipt given for the books you leave for sale. When you return to replenish or pick up any unsold books, bring the receipt.

Last day to pick up unsold books is Friday June 14th at 3:30PM. Please make sure your receipt is correctly updated when you check your books in and out. If you cannot pick up your books on the 14th for some reason, let us know an alternative plan.

1) Author’s name should be on the book’s cover

2) Retail price or the price you want the book to be sold for should be on the book’s cover. If needed use a sticker with the price.

Consignment percentage is 40%. A book that is sold for $20, will net $12 to the consignee, for example.

A consignment check for your books sold will be mailed within two weeks after the conference ends. Give the USPS time for delivery.

If you would like to also sign books at the conference, we will have a signing time, Monday - Thursday of the conference, between 5 and 6 PM. Let us know if you can be there and we will set up a table for you, as space allows. Priority will be given to attendees of the conference. If all the tables are taken you can still be present and talk about your book anytime during the conference. It is great to network with one another by buying and signing fellow authors books.

“Epic Edna" by Danielle Blum

Winner of the SBWC 2024 Humorous Story Contest in Memory of Ian Bernard

Edna, a librarian in her seventies with a penchant for cat-eye glasses and an adoration for hushed corridors and quiet rooms, was the epitome of serenity and order. She was known in her small town for her meticulously organized book club and her skill in finding the perfect novel for even the most reluctant reader. Edna had planned what she thought would be a peaceful escape - a yoga retreat at the tranquil Lake Serenity. However, it seemed fate had a different plan.

Upon her arrival, instead of the anticipated sounds of birds and gentle waves, Edna was greeted by the thumping bass of electronic dance music and the raucous cheers of college students engaged in a spirited game of limbo under a “Party Like it’s 1999” banner. The serene retreat she envisioned was nowhere in sight, replaced instead by “Spring Break at the Lake.”

Yet, something in the air - perhaps the wild energy or the sheer absurdity of the situation - stirred a long-forgotten sense of adventure in Edna. With a bemused smile, she muttered, “When in Rome.” She replaced her green tea with something neon from a suspiciously large punch bowl and stepped into the heart of the celebration.

Initially bewildered by her presence, the students soon found themselves in awe of this unlikely partygoer. On the volleyball court, to everyone’s shock, her serve was a hurricane, knocking over three sunbathers and a confused seagull.

As dusk settled each day, the party transformed. The first night, Edna took the dance floor and dazzled partygoers with her unexpectedly wild dance moves, blending tai chi fluidity with a surprising amount of hip thrusts.

Then, Edna found herself in the throes of an unexpected challenge: beer pong. Initially skeptical of this peculiar college pastime, Edna soon became the undisputed queen of the beer pong table. With a flick of the wrist, she became a beer pong sharpshooter, drawing in more spectators than a rare book sale.

With every successful shot, Edna dispensed wisdom wrapped in humor. “In my day, we played with chisels and slabs!” she quipped, sending the students into fits of laughter. Her signature move – a gentle toss followed by a theatrical bow – became as legendary as her top-shelf book recommendations.

But it wasn’t just her unexpected athleticism that won the crowd; it was her ability to turn each game into a comedy show. She’d feign forgetfulness, “Oh, is it my turn? I was just reminiscing about The Industrial Revolution,” before swiftly landing a perfect shot.

On karaoke night, Edna brought down the house with a rap version of “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider,” complete with choreography and a smoke machine. The crowd went wild, chanting, “Ep-ic Ed-na! Ep-ic Ed-na!”

Over the weeks, Edna, our septuagenarian heroine, didn’t just attend Spring Break – she reinvented it. Her participation in the sandcastle building competition turned heads when she sculpted a remarkably detailed replica of the Taj Mahal – using only a spade and her denture case. Her masterpiece was crowned “Best Digs,” a title she wore more proudly than her orthopedic shoes.

Her fame grew. Students hung on her every word, whether she was reminiscing about Woodstock or explaining the proper way to iron a shirt. They even started a Twitter account for her daily wisdom, #EpicEdna.

As Spring Break ’24 drew to a close, Edna, now a legend, packed her belongings. Her tie-dye yoga pants, a gift from her newfound admirers, starkly contrasted her usual floral skirts. Her collection of friendship bracelets jingled like wind chimes as she hugged each student goodbye.

In a grand finale, Edna decided to make her exit memorable. She commandeered a jet ski, a vehicle she’d never operated before, insisting on a dramatic departure. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she revved the engine, shouting over the roar, “Remember, life’s a beach, and then you drive!”

As she zoomed off, her sunhat took flight, soaring behind her like a victory flag, leaving the students cheering. They watched in awe as the woman who’d shown up with a suitcase full of tea bags and knitting needles left as Edna, the Spring Break Legend of ’24 – the coolest grandma they never had. 02

Multi-Genre Writing Contest for Scholarships to SBWC 2024

Enter to win a scholarship to the 2024 Santa Barbara Writers Conference, June 9-14
• No entry fee

• You may share this opportunity with others.

• There are 4 categories. One entry per email. One entry per category, per person. Indicate in subject line which category you are entering.

• Send entries by attached Word Doc or PDF to info@sbwriters.com
Contact information should include:

Name  ·  Phone number  ·   Email address  ·   Mailing address

• Put category of entry in the email subject line.

• This must be your original work.

• Scholarship recipients must be able to attend the conference this year. If not, the scholarship will be awarded to another contestant.

Contest opens:  NOW April 8, 2024. Submission period closes MIDNIGHT, Monday, May 1, 2024 PDT.  Submission period is 3 weeks, so don’t procrastinate.

Four full tuition scholarships to the 2024 Santa Barbara Writers Conference will be awarded ($899 value, each).  SBWC reserves the option of awarding more than one scholarship in a particular category, if any other category lacks a winner. But the goal will be to have four winners total from the four categories.

Winners will be announced approximately one week after the contests close, as soon as the judges have completed their work.

Categories:

1. FICTION:  Limit 500 words.  This may be the opening of longer fiction or an entire flash fiction story. Please indicate which in your cover email.

2. NONFICTION: Limit 500 words. This can be a short essay, memoir piece, or the opening to a longer nonfiction piece. Please indicate which in your cover email

3. POETRY: Limit 50 lines

4. ANOTHER Of YOUR CHOICE: Limit 500 words.

The judging teams will look for writing excellence appropriate to each category. All the judges are award-winning, published authors who are associated with SBWC. We do not announce the names of the judges.

Flash Fiction ~ by Nicholas Deitch

From the Luna Review, 2017

Q & A with Nicholas Deitch, Interviewer, Max Talley

 Luna Review: When you wrote these four pieces, did you start small and build to a hundred words, or write longer pieces, then chisel them down? Please explain.

 Nicholas:  The goal was to write a story of 101 words or less. Each piece began closer to four or five hundred words, which I did not realize until I counted them. I wrote a draft, and thought, ‘Wow, this is easy.’ Then I counted the words, and thought, ‘Oh, crap. This is gonna be difficult.’ But what I discovered was quite astonishing – that so many of the words I had longingly written were not necessary.

I recommend this process to anyone. Write a short piece, or take something you have already written, and edit it down to half. What emerges is what I think of as an elixir, a distillation of the essential oil of the story. I find the process to be enlightening, and my writing has benefitted tremendously.

 Four short stories of 101 words each:

Stephen’s Park

“You in charge here?” That whacko lady in Stephen's Park wags a boney finger.

Hell no. I walk here on break, and mind my own business.

“They wouldn’t let this happen in the Magic Kingdom!” she shouts, pointing at the dead roses the city can no longer care for.

A cart full of crap at her side, she’s been tending one gnarled bush, tilling and watering the thing for days, muttering crazy shit at everyone.

Cops are coming. I keep walking. They take her away.

Later, walking back, I see it: a single budding rose on that miserable little bush.

The Feast

Mother and little ones at the table by the tree, chicken nuggets and ranch sauce, all smiles and dangling legs.

God, I’m so hungry. I miss my mom. I miss our kitchen talks. Before the meth. Before daddy ran off with that skank.

“Time to go.” She wipes their mouths and gathers them up, and tosses their trash as they leave. I don’t care who’s watching. I reach in and grab the bag. Some nuggets and sauce.

Food never tasted so good. No, that’s a lie.

Mom made the best spaghetti. Before the meth. Before daddy ran off with that skank.

Exodus

Damned El Nino. Cops and city shirts come down, with vouchers and bullshit, telling everybody to get out. River’s gonna flood–wash us away.

“It’s a lie.” Bobby pulls me back. We hide in the thicket, wet and shivering.

They search our camps. Tilda is screaming. She don’t wanna go.

They take her and leave.

Bobby snarls. “Just wanna get rid of us. We’re trouble. Make ‘em feel bad.”

Wet, hungry and pissed, we try to make a fire in the rain.

I hear a rumble, look up. A hellish torrent rising.

“Christ almighty.” I reach for Bobby’s trembling hand.

Moo

Not far from our apartment Tilly and I walk along the pasture. Beyond the fence, cows linger, content to chew the grass. I can't help myself. I go to the fence and let loose a deep resonant bellying "Moo!”

Several cows stop and turn.

Tilly is not pleased. "Chet, leave the cows alone."

I ignore her. "Moo!"

To my surprise the cows come trouncing toward us.

"Chet, you idiot!"

I turn, laughing, to grab her hand and run.

In the morning, an odd rustling outside. I draw the curtain.

"Chet, you idiot!"

Cows in the parking lot, eyes wide, waiting.

Nick Deitch with a furry friend

The 2024 Ian Bernard Memorial Humorous Story Contest

This contest is closed and we have a Winner!

“Epic Edna”  by Danielle Blum

There were so many wonderful entries, and each judge had favorites, but “Epic Edna” appeared on everyone’s pick list. We will post the story shortly on a separate blog page.

No entry fee!! NEW DEADLINE OF APRIL 1

The judging team will look for overall writing excellence as well as “the funny factor.” The entry should be a humorous story. No gross-out humor, please. Bonus points for using the theme “Spring Break,” and that may be interpreted as you like. Feel free to share this opportunity with others.

The judges are award-winning humorous authors. We don’t announce the names of judges.

Submission Guidelines

To enter: Email info@sbwriters.com • Send entry as a Word doc or PDF attachment.

• No entry fee

• Contest opens March 1, 2024.

• Submission period closes MIDNIGHT, APRIL 1, 2024 PDT. Winners announced within a week of closing.

• This must be your original work, published or not.

• Submissions should be between 500 and 750 words.

• Limit of 1 entry per person.

Contact information should include:

• Name

• Phone number (text)

• Email address

• Mailing address

Scholarship recipients must be able to attend the conference this year, June 9-14, 2024. (If unable, the full scholarship will be awarded to the runner up.)

Looking Back at 2023

100 Words on Why I Like SBWC Scholarship Contest

Our winner:

“Why I Like SBWC” Challenge

We received over 100 entries -- some humorous, some poetic, some touching. It was hard to pick, but this one made us feel the draw of finding new stories lurking at SBWC:

“Years ago, I wandered through SBWC's halls, a rookie among seasoned wordsmiths. Amidst whispers of pages and coffee clinks, my writing journey began. Now, drawn back, like a detective to an old case, I seek the conference’s labyrinth of workshops and late-night debates. Eager to unravel publishing mysteries and reconnect with fellow scribes, I'm ready to return, walk familiar paths, and discover new stories lurking in the shadows.” ~ Tracy Johns

This was the contest:

Write 100 words or fewer on what you like about the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. If you’ve never attended, that’s okay. You could write about what you hope to experience.

We’ll pick one contributor to receive free registration to this year’s conference. If you are picked, and you cannot attend, you may designate another writer to use your free registration. How cool is that? Either way, the prize must be used this June.

You may email your good words to info@sbwriters.com and put your 100 words in the body of the email. We'll announce a winner on February 9.

“Let there be FOWG" by Rick Shaw

There is something magical in validation from peers. For most of us, our lives are a quest, in some form, for exactly that. Validation that our efforts, beliefs, values, talents, friendships, are not in vain. If we’re lucky we find our tribe, and within that larger group, a select collection of lunatics that will invest in us for that journey. Here’s the result of one such quest:

I have attended the Santa Barbara Writers Conference off and on since 2005. The how and why I ended up there involves being dragged by my mother to a one-day conference, and a brief bit of scolding by Marla Miller that same day. That first year at SBWC introduced me to the most generous community of artists there is, bar none. And in 2005, I found a community who was all about helping fellow writers along that journey.

 I have attended several times since, as life allowed. Returning to the larger collective is restorative and spurs on activity just before and for a few months after. I continued to work on the original manuscript that had brought me to the conference and started a couple of others. I had made a handful of friends, the beginnings of a network. Then life would intrude again, and progress would wane.

 You will hear, as a new writer, you need to find a writing group. A collective for read-and-critique, that will push you to write regularly and improve. I had flitted about a couple of community-based groups at my local library, an online one started by Dell, and one hosted by a local bookstore, but I never felt the trust necessary to accept honest critique, to invest in it to improve in my craft. As a writer of speculative fiction – SciFi, Post-Apocalyptic, Horror, Paranormal, etc. – who suffers from imposters syndrome – finding a group that I trusted with these weird thoughts flowing from my head was essential for me to move forward.

 It wasn’t until wee hours of the morning, in the afterglow of a productive Pirate Session, that it happened. The conversation started something like this:

 Me: We really need to do this more often than once a year.

Stephen (lighting a cigarette and blowing it up into the early morning Santa Barbara fog):  That is the dumbest f*king idea I’ve ever heard, and we need to do it immediately.

 After we stopped laughing, the conversation then evolved into who. A little later in the year we had our first meeting in Ventura, and I had found my subset of lunatics.

 We all write very different stuff. We’re all in different stages on our journey as writers. Along the way, we’ve added one, and lost one, and we guard the core fiercely. The main tenant remains making each other’s writing better. We all bring something different to the table. Hear things the others don’t. To a person, we will all say the group has done exactly that, made us better writers.

 At the group’s suggestion, I started to work in short stories in 2017, to help me tighten my prose. And submitting to anthologies is one way to build a publishing record, build a readership, and to aid in submissions of larger works to traditional publishing houses. In September 2019 I had my first short published, “Fiddler.” The next year, “#ICETEROIDSURVIVORS.” My third short published, “The Lost Fedora,” was August 2022.

Call it what you will, The Inklings, Algonquin Roundtable, The Bloomsbury Set… or FOWG. The value to finding a writing group can’t be understated. They can take many forms, a monthly in-person read-and-critique, swapping works by email, etc. Find a different set of eyes to see your faults, fellow writers who feels safe in calling you on them, AND who feel safe enough in themselves to hear it in return.

The trust within our group is born out of the larger whole, the commitment of a community of writers, the SBWC community, to seeing we all grow in our craft. I will be forever grateful to this lunatic fringe, and hold to it fiercely, as it validates these years of work.

To Stephen, Mac, Nick, Maryanne, and Angela – aka FOWG (our F*king Outstanding Writers Group) —Thank you.

2023 SBWC Scholarship recipients

 Writers attending for the first time discover suddenly they’re among others who care about story and wordsmithing as much as they do. What a rush it is to discover fellow humans who also see the world through the lens of storytelling. Writers who’ve attended the Santa Barbara Writers Conference keep coming back because this conference feels like going home. 

 Please join us in welcoming these writers to the SBWC tribe.

 Announcing the winners of the SBWC scholarships for 2023.

 The Admiral’s Prize Scholarship: Anna Maria Stump

SBWC Scholarship for Fiction: Thomas Atkinson

SBWC Scholarship for Nonfiction: Julie Dillemuth

SBWC Scholarship for Poetry: Susan Florence

 The Admiral’s Prize Scholarship: Anna Maria Stump

 The Ian Bernard Memorial Scholarship for humor: Gail Bellenger

 The Chuck Kent Memorial Scholarship for screenwriting: Kelly Brotman

 The Stephen Vessel’s Memorial Scholarship for fantasy/sci-fi: Nikki Blakely

 Yes, we’ll have speakers and agents, panels and seminars, and workshops galore.  Yes, we’ll hammer on our projects all week.  But we’ll also have fun and comradery throughout.

 From day one at SBWC, you’ll be a part of this tribe of people who love writing. You’re welcome at any stage, and at any age.  If you’re interested in becoming a more accomplished writer this can be your home.

 Write on!
Grace Rachow
SBWC Director

Thank you, Monte Schulz

Update: SBWC 2023 Writing Contest for Scholarships for June 18-23, 2023

Update: Three of the winners have been notified by email. We are waiting for the judges’ decisions on the fourth category. Once we have heard from all four winners that they can attend, we will announce the winners. Hopefully on Monday.

Thank you to all who entered. This was quite an avalanche!

Enter to win a Scholarship to the 2023 Santa Barbara Writers Conference, June 18-23
• No entry fee

• You may share this opportunity with others.

• There are 4 categories. You are welcome to enter each category. One entry per email. One entry per category, per person.

• Send entries by attached Word Doc or PDF to sbwc.mascot@gmail.com
Contact information should include:

Name  ·  Phone number  ·   Email address  ·   Mailing address

• Put category of entry in the email subject line.

• This must be your original work.

• Scholarship recipients must be able to attend the conference this year. If not, the scholarship will be awarded to a runner-up.

Contest opens:  NOW April 14, 2023. Submission period closes MIDNIGHT, Monday, May 1, 2023 PDT.  Submission period is 2 weeks, so don’t procrastinate.

Four full tuition scholarships to the 2023 Santa Barbara Writers Conference will be awarded ($799 value, each).  SBWC reserves the option of awarding more than one scholarship in a particular category, if any other category lacks a winner. But the goal will be to have four winners total from the four categories.

Scholarship recipients must be able to attend the conference this year. If not, the full scholarship will be awarded to a runner up.

Winners will be announced approximately one week after the contests close, as soon as the judges have completed their work.

Categories:

1. FICTION:  Limit 500 words.  This may be the opening of longer fiction or an entire flash fiction story. Please indicate which in your cover email.

2. NONFICTION: Limit 500 words. This can be a short essay, memoir piece, or the opening to a longer nonfiction piece. Please indicate which in your cover email

3. POETRY: Limit 50 lines

4. HUMOR: Limit 500 words. Judges will look for the funny factor, as well as general excellence in writing. For extra credit include the element of death in your piece. Let’s whistle past the graveyard. Funny things happen at funerals. Or you know, when the goldfish died, and you had to__________.  

The humor contest is in honor the infamous SBWC Humor Workshop Leader Ian Bernard. See earlier blog post about him. https://www.sbwriters.com/blog/2023/4/11/ian-bernard-august-17-1930-to-november-30-2022

The judging teams will look for writing excellence appropriate to each category. All the judges are award-winning, published authors who are associated with SBWC. We do not announce the names of the judges.

Ian Bernard ~ August 17, 1930 to November 30, 2022

Although it’s been over 20 years since Ian Bernard was the humor workshop leader at SBWC during the “Miramar Days,” many of us remember him well. We asked Ernie Witham, our current humor workshop leader, to share some of his memories of Ian’s workshop.

There was one thing you quickly learned at the Santa Barbara Writers Conference at the old Miramar Hotel. If you wanted a seat in Ian Bernard’s Humor Workshop… Don’t be late! And by seat, I mean everything from the couch, to the assorted chairs, bar stools, cushions, and every available inch of not-all-that-new carpet.

 The second thing you learned was that while others were socializing and getting ready for a laugh-filled afternoon… Get your name on the sign-up-sheet right away! Otherwise it might be a day or two before you had a chance to read. That’s how popular Ian’s workshop was.

Ian did not lecture. He didn’t offer a lot of tips and techniques. He just had people read. Then he told you what worked and what didn’t and why. And he was not one to mince words! “That’s not only not funny, there’s a giant balloon hanging over it saying ‘So What?’”

Sometimes, Ian would take a few moments to tell us about his days working as musical director for the highly successful 1968-1973 TV comedy program, Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. “You never saw a more serious-looking bunch than the comedy writers on that show,” Ian told us.

Ian was also a child actor.  At the age of seven he was labeled as “Windsor’s Wonder Boy of Song and Dance.” Among movie roles, he acted with Shirley Temple and Cary Grant in the 1947 movie, "The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer.” Later, he played piano for Rosemary Clooney and arranged and produced albums for singers, including Vic Damone and Dick Haymes. He was an amazing jazz pianist and served as president of the Santa Barbara Jazz Society. He guest conducted the San Francisco Symphony for a year with Weslia Whitfield and Michael Feinstein. He also produced an album for Michael Feinstein and went on tour with him, performing at Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts and in Washington DC. And he did the film scores for several independent films.

Ian was the author of two books: “Film and Television Acting: From stage to screen” of which Harrison Ford stated: “I suppose if I had to say that someone discovered me, it would be Ian Bernard.” Ian also authored “Writing Humor: Giving a Comedic Touch to All Form of Writing.” And he wrote the screenplays for “Synanon” and “Oh Dad Poor Dad.”

But when it came to his humor workshop, like so many of us in that room, Ian was really there to laugh. And he had a big booming laugh. If you could make Ian Bernard laugh, you were having a good day.

Another great thing about Ian was he knew a lot of really funny people, like Fannie Flagg, who would stop by his workshop whenever she was going to be the evening speaker. Or Steve Allen, from the old Tonight Show. Or Arte Johnson, one of the stars of Laugh In. Or humor novelist, Christopher Moore.

And, of course, Peanuts creator, Charles Schulz, who attended the conference every year (with son Monte), would stop by for a least one afternoon session. It all added to the energy and fun in that “modest” hotel room.

And then there would be a day when Ian would tell all us regulars to make sure we attended that day’s session because Jonathan Winters was going to be there. He would also tell us not to spread it around because the other workshop leaders were not happy when everyone ditched their workshops to go meet bigger-than-life Jonathan Winters, who would hold court out on the lawn before and after Ian’s workshop, telling stories, doing hung-dog faces and doing his famous Maude Frickert impressions.

I was fortunate to be part of those workshops for more than 10 years and honed my humor skills trying my hardest to be as funny as some of the other really funny people who became a core group of attendees year after year. Ian went beyond his role as workshop leader to mentor advise and encourage writers who showed promise, oftentimes for free. A number of us joined a private workshop with Ian held in the months after the conference to work on longer humorous works.

It’s no exaggeration to say Ian Bernard had a big influence on my life. I can still hear you laughing, my friend.     

Ernie Witham

Judith Turner-Yamamoto

Wednesday June 21, 8:00 PM, Pacific Ballroom

Award-winning author, poet and journalist Judith Turner-Yamamoto was born into a family of storytellers in an insular community in rural North Carolina. An art historian and inveterate traveler, she has interviewed such luminaries as Frank Gehry, Annie Leibovitz, Alison Krauss and Lucinda Williams and published more than 1,000 cover stories and features in publications such as The Boston Globe Magazine, Elle, Interiors, Art & Antiques, The Los Angeles Times and Travel & Leisure. A labor of love 30 years in the making, Loving the Dead and Gone is her first novel, part of a trilogy that draws upon memories of her red-dirt childhood to spin a tale that Publishers Weekly called a bittersweet, fantastical must-read debut. Currently she lives in Cincinnati with her husband, visual artist Shinji Turner-Yamamoto.

SBWC Agent Appointment Registration is Open

Many SBWC attendees have gone on to publish their work because of the agents they met at the Santa Barbara Writers Conference. You will see some of these SBWC alums as panelists at the 2023 conference.

If your manuscript is complete and polished, and you think you’re ready for an agent to represent your work, read about the agents below and register for appointments with those who seem interested in your genre or already represent clients whose work you think is similar to your own.

Advance Submission is your chance to separate yourself from the thousands of queries received each year. Though SBWC has had many success stories in the past, we make no promises of representation, nor further interest in your manuscript.

We do, however, hope your appointments are a rewarding and enlightening experience, and at the very least, an opportunity to make personal and professional connections.

You must be registered for the conference to participate. 

 How it works

1. Register for the 6-day conference and then register to meet with one or more agents on the agent page, where you can click and read specifics on all 6 agents. We expect some will fill their schedules quickly, so register for your appointments early. You may submit to as many agents as you like. If the agent(s) you’ve picked are not available for reasons beyond our control, we will make sure you have an appointment with the next most appropriate agent. Remember each agent knows others in the business who might be more appropriate to represent your work.

2. Email the first 5 pages of your manuscript to info@sbwriters.com

3. The deadline for pages to be received is May 19. You may include a cover letter to each specific agent and a brief synopsis, if you wish. Formats accepted: Attached Word Doc or PDF.

4. Once you check into the conference on June 18, we’ll give you the details of your meeting arrangements. Your agents or editors will have read the pages before you meet and will come prepared to talk about your writing. This is a one-on-one meeting for 10 minutes, a chance for you to get personal feedback from an agent or editor. All meetings will take place Tuesday, June 20, 2023.

Stephen T. Vessels Memorial Scholarship Writing Contest for SBWC

The winner of the Stephen T Vessels Memorial Scholarship Writing Contest for SBWC is Nikki Blakely. Tomorrow we will list the honorable mentions.

We will be contacting all the contestants and making a more formal announcement early this week.

The submission period for this contest is over. Thank you to everyone who entered. We hope to have our winners announced by April 30.

Writers are invited to submit an entry to the  Fantasy/Science Fiction Contest in memory  of SBWC alumnus, Stephen T. Vessels.

No entry fee.

These pieces should fall under the category of fantasy/sci-fi.

For extra credit, take inspiration from the writing of Stephen T. Vessels. Before you submit your work, consider Stephen’s oft-repeated advice: “Rub a little weird on it.”

To familiarize yourself with the style and spirit of Vessels’ writing, see The Mountain & the Vortex, and other Tales from Muse Harbor and Fall of the Messengers from ShadowSpinners. 

Or take a look at The Fifth Fedora, an anthology of fiction by other writers inspired by the work of Vessels.

You may share this contest opportunity with others.

The judges will look for overall writing excellence, as well as “the weird factor.”

Submissions should be 1000 words or fewer.

Limit of 1 entry per person.

Contest judges are published authors. We do not announce the names of the judges.

Enter via email: sbwc.mascot@gmail.com

This must be your original work, previously published or not.
Put your contact information into the body of the email and send your entry as an attached Word doc or PDF.
Contact information should include:

Name
Phone number
Email address
Mailing address

First prize will be a full tuition day scholarship to the 2023 Santa Barbara Writers Conference. ($799 value).

Scholarship recipient must be able to attend the conference this year, June 18-23, 2023.
If not, the full scholarship will be awarded to the first runner-up who is able to attend.
No entry fee
Contest opens:  Now
Submission period closes MIDNIGHT, Friday, April 14, 2023 PDT

Winners announced by April 30, 2023

Writing, Humanity, & Artificial Intelligence — Hannah Holbrook

If you’ve somehow avoided the recent news articles and frenetic email threads circulating in academic communities, Santa Barbara City College included, let me be the first to tell you: At worst, human creativity and originality in fiction, non-fiction, and poetry are under threat, and at best, the world of writing education is being disrupted and, potentially, “The College Essay Is Dead” (Stephen Marche, The Atlantic).

Indeed, say NPR writers Rosalsky and Peaslee, “We've entered a new world where we're being forced to re-evaluate our education system and even the value — or at least the method — of teaching kids how to write.” The value of writing? Is this “science fiction”? Are we at the “beginning of a revolution”? Whatever the answer to these questions, I agree with Edward Tian, the twenty-two year old who just wrote an app to detect machine-written text called “GPTZero,” that this is an “inflection point” (qtd. in Rosalsky and Peaslee).  Explaining his motivation to create the app over his winter break, Tian says, "Human writing can be so beautiful, and there are aspects of it that computers should never co-opt. And it feels like that might be at risk if everybody is using ChatGPT to write.”

What everyone is talking about is “ChatGPT,” a new program just released to the public for free that “generates eerily articulate and nuanced text in response to short prompts, with people using it to write love letters, poetry, fan fiction — and their schoolwork” (Kalley Huang, The New York Times). It can even “write a story in a particular style, answer a question, explain a concept, compose an email” (Rosalsky and Peaslee).  How does it do all this?  The mind-boggling answer is that “the technology has basically devoured the entire Internet, reading the collective works of humanity and learning patterns in language that it can recreate.” Science fiction indeed, but how we choose to use AI technologies may determine our reality.

 I’m hoping these alarm sounding articles turn out to be similar to Y2K – there’s nothing to see here – but just in case, I’m grateful to those who are rushing to create apps and firewalls “to preserve integrity and trust in the education community and beyond” (Chris Caren, Turnitin). In schools, in literature, and in our public discourse, authenticity (and vigilance) has never been so crucial to our survival.

For your reading pleasure:

“This 22-Year-Old Is Trying to Save Us from ChatGPT before It Changes Writing Forever” (Greg Rosalsky and Emma Peaslee, NPR)

“Alarmed by A.I. Chatbots, Universities Start Revamping How They Teach” (Kalley Huang, The New York Times)

“The College Essay Is Dead: Nobody Is Prepared for How AI Will Transform Academia.” (Stephen Marche, The Atlantic)

“AI Writing: The Challenge and Opportunity in Front of Education Now” (Chris Caren, CEO, Turnitin)

Hannah Holbrook teaches composition and literature at Santa Barbara City College and writes essays and half novels (is that not a genre?). She has both attended and volunteered at the Santa Barbara Writers Conference starting in 2016, where she finds support and inspiration for her writing practice.

Mary Hogan

Tuesday June 20, 8:00 PM, Pacific Ballroom

Mary Hogan is the author of Two Sisters, praised by bestselling author Adriana Trigiani, and, Left, a love story about a woman who slowly retreats into a fantasy world as she loses her once whip-smart husband to dementia. Her compulsively-readable historical novel based on the Johnstown Flood of 1889, The Woman in the Photo, tells a story of class and catastrophe that resonates today. Her previous novels include the young adult titles, The Serious Kiss, Perfect Girl and Pretty Face (HarperCollins). Married to veteran TV and stage actor Robert Hogan until his death in 2021, Mary lives in New York City with their Catahoula Leopard rescue dog.

The Value of Hanging Out with Fellow Lunatics -- Rick Shaw

Writers come in all shapes and sizes, physically and metaphorically, weaving simple words into verse of such striking beauty to bring a tear, or dark imagery leaving you unable to sleep without a light on for weeks at a time. For some, stringing words and conjuring images comes easy, like breathing. For others each word, phrase, sentence, paragraph is a struggle of epic proportion. But we as writers are all bound by a single objective – we must tell stories. 

Though writers are often introverts, and for many, writing is a solitary thing – door closed, BIC-HOK (Butt-in-Chair-Hands-On-Keyboard). As humans, we are also social creatures, and if, as readers and writers, are lucky we find a welcoming gathering of other such creatures.

Yes there are others like us, who are afflicted with particular flavor of lunacy. Afflicted with a compulsion to share stories.

The Santa Barbara Writers Conference resumes in June, after a three-year hiatus. A conclave of like-minded, exceptionally generous souls who are willing to share their experience. It is an eclectic mix of professionals and amateurs, indie and traditionally published authors. Above all, it’s an environment that breeds creativity and provides a space for us to learn from some of the best in our field. I am hooked, a junkie returning for a fix.

I’ve been attending, off and on, since 2005. It took me a couple of years to believe I belonged among such a host. You see, Imposters Syndrome frequently holds court over the voices and characters in my head. Now I draw energy and a sense of comfort from this community of lunatics, online, and once a year in person.

Though the industry is evolving, the need to hone your craft, to tell a compelling story, will always be the foundation of our work. If you have a story to tell, poetry to compose, or screen plays to hone, SBWC is as welcoming a space as you’ll find.

Come with an open mind, experiment, and try hard not to hold your works too precious.

I can’t stress enough the importance of opening yourself up to new genres, or forms. Sit-in and move between sessions. There is an energy flowing through the lectures, workshops, and pirate sessions. If you’re a night owl, try a late-night pirate session – read and critique into the wee hours, until we’ve had enough. Some of the best of us lunatics hang out here. We learn as much, if not more, from each other. We learn to develop a thicker skin. Rule number one is we’re not here to tear down, we’re here to help each other grow.

So, after three years of COVID, we will renew friendships, make new ones, and honor the void left by those no longer among us. We will bring our current and new projects, for critique and revision. We break story and argue the rules, so we can break those, too. We will celebrate the successes of works published – and years of hard work that got them there.

I am honored to be part of this community and hang with these lunatics a few days each June.

And, yes, Alice, we’re all a little mad here.

Elinor Lipman

Monday June 19, 8:00 PM, Pacific Ballroom

Known for her wry social commentary, Elinor Lipman is the author of 14 novels, including her latest, Ms. Demeanor, which has received praise from authors Tom Perrotta, Wally Lamb and Cathleen Schine. In 2008 her debut novel Then She Found Me (1990) was adapted into a film starring Matthew Broderick, Colin Firth, Helen Hunt and Bette Midler. She not only served on the 2006 literature panel for the National Endowment for the Arts but was also a fiction judge for the 2008 National Book Awards. She lives in Manhattan and part-time in Homes, NY, on Lake Dutchess.

SBWC 1976

The 1976 Santa Barbara Writer Conference was held again at the Miramar, June 18-25 with 140 paid attendees. Cost was $275. That June, there were morning and afternoon workshops every day. The late-night pirate workshops arose to satisfy students who wanted even more time to craft their work.  Working on writing was more important to them than sleep.

The conference schedule listed an impressive array of authors and industry experts. Interviews with featured speakers appeared in the Santa Barbara News-Press and weekly journals in the surrounding community. Ray Bradbury opened the conference, as he had for the previous 3 years. Workshop leaders included Sid Stebel, Jack Leggett, Niels Mortensen, Kenneth Rexroth, Barnaby Conrad, Jerry Hannah, and Bill Downey.

This was the year Maya Angelou (photo below) addressed SBWC, her deep voice sounding across the Miramar Room in the conference center. Her themes resonated with students of all ages. They hoped to understand how she drew from her own passion and put it into her writing. Ken Millar, the Santa Barbara resident known worldwide as Ross Macdonald, introduced Eudora Welty. She spoke with great depth about the art of fiction. (See scrapbook article below.)

Mary Conrad hosted a cocktail party for the SBWC teaching staff and featured speakers. Guests included Jose Ferrer, Charles and Jean Schulz, the husband-and-wife team of John Dodds and Vivian Vance, literary agent Don Congdon, and Joan Didion and her husband John Gregory Dunne. Adding to that mix were the Conrads’ friends from Santa Barbara, Montecito, Los Angeles, and Hollywood. It was little wonder an invite to Mary’s party became the most sought-after ticket of the conference.  

Clifton Fadiman, author, editor and American intellectual, closed out the week with his trademark piercing commentary. Fadiman bemoaned the sad state of editors, saying he would’ve never taken a job as an editor without first having a full knowledge of literature and the command of three languages.

It was clear by the end of the 1976 conference that SBWC had found a magical gathering place where the literati and aspiring writers alike could rub shoulders and learn how it’s done.

Quoted and adapted with appreciation to Armando Nieto, Mary Conrad, and Matt Pallamary: The Santa Barbara Writers Conference Scrapbook — Words of Wisdom from Thirty Years of Literary Excellence 1973 – 2004.

Maya Angelou at the Miramar at SBWC 1976

Promotional flyer for SBWC 1976

NewsPress Article on Eudora Welty’s talk at SBWC 1976: Photos show Ken Millar (Ross Macdonald) Maggie Millar, Eudora Welty and Chuck Champlin in the background.

How to Write a Book

Quite a few years ago I took a weekly course titled how to write a book. We met on Tuesday evenings for 8 sessions. I planned to take the course and then magically know how to write a book. I was correct in thinking that taking a course would be helpful. It was. Each week we covered an aspect of manifesting a publishable manuscript:

• Inspirations, aspirations, and ideas

• The plan: outline or wing it? Answer: it depends

• Setting goals and schedules: (so left-brained!) but annoyingly necessary

• Talent vs. hard work? Both helpful and blessed are talented writers who work hard

• Procrastination, negative thinking, distractions

• Dealing with feedback

• The rewrite.

• Marketing

And every week we talked about craft and brought our pages for feedback. It was a valuable course. I learned a lot, and it has stuck with me. I’ve written thousands of pages. And yet, I’ve not yet finished that book, so knowing how isn’t the whole story. If you thought by reading this 200-word blog post you’d learn how to write a book, you have the optimism that’ll carry you through challenging days.

The rest of the story:  I’ll boil it down to 2 words: butt time.

G. R.